A Covert Narcissist's Wife
Bio: Twenty years ago I was a woman who enjoyed life, laughed often and was looking forward to the future. A lot can change in twenty years, even who you are. I married a covert Narcissist and he killed me. I disappeared. I will never be seen again. I am technically alive, breathing, walking, doing household chores and take care of my teenage son, but I'm not really living. I have become an expert at fooling those who see me in a public setting. The truth is I am dead inside. My covert Narcissistic husband and his family worked as a team to destroy me, make me disappear from their lives, and why? Because I stood up for myself and our son. Because I spoke the truth about what happened to us. For that reason alone I needed to be destroyed.
A Covert Narcissist's Wife 
September 21, 2015 at 10:25 pm
I guess my degree in Social Work is really rearing it’s advocate roots. I want to put a book together for NPD survivors. A First Aid Tool Kit with a Chicken Soup For The Soul Type feel. I’m looking for about 100 personal stories. Well, a little less because I already have had some submissions. If I break even on this project, I will be happy.
I would be happy to include a link to your blog in the book too. As I plan to include helpful resources such as; domestic violence resources, helpful books on NPD/Sociopaths, blogs, You Tube Videos and FB pages in the book. If you would like to personally contribute a piece even better. I’m allowing people to use their real name or write under a pen name.
Do you want to share your story about your experience with narcissistic abuse? Sharing your story not only helps heal you but could help heal someone else!
In honor of October being National Domestic Violence Awareness month, I’m putting together a book titled: I Am Free: Healing Stories of Surviving Toxic Relationships With Narcissists & Sociopaths”. A First Aid Kit for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse.
It’s will have a Chicken Soup For The Soul type feel for the NPD survivor’s soul. It will also include helpful resources, information and links to blogs, FB pages etc…
I am looking for inspirational true stories about ordinary people that have been through extraordinary experiences. These stories should be relatable, raw and open the hearts and connect the human spirit and help create awareness of what narcissistic abuse is.
It is a simple piece that will validate our reader’s experiences with their own narcissistic abuse and help them discover their strengths and basic principles that they can draw from to heal and recover from these very damaging relationships. Poems can be submitted as well.
Your story should be written in the first person and have a beginning, middle and end. The stories should be written from the heart and be relatable to our readers. They should be personal, passionate and filled with emotion that touch the five senses. We want our readers to not only feel validated and learn from the stories of others but to be feel more hopeful about life in general, more optimistic about future relationships, thankful, tearful, goosebumps, supported and most of all, not alone or a combination of these.
You don’t have to have the answers. The stories shouldn’t sound like you are giving advice or steps to recovery. Just a touching story sharing your personal experience, your challenges, obstacles, an “a ha” moment or any insight that helped you to begin to break free and start the process of rebuilding yourself. Or it could be about the darkest moments. You decide.
Do not feel like you need to tell your story from beginning to end. That would be difficult to do in 1500 words or less.
You do not have to be completely recovered to share your story. There are triumphs and wisdom to be gained in every aspect of the healing journey.
For example: A story about your success with no contact for one, two or even three months. Or a story about the first time you realized you were dealing with an NPD. What were the signs? How did it feel? Or how about your your attempt to find closure? What you learned about yourself. What was it like growing up with an NPD parent. Do you have one recollection that really stands out? How has the experience changed you? What thing(s) helped you heal the most. The possibilities and topics are endless.
You may use your own name or make up a pen name. If your story is chosen to be included in the book, you will not be paid for your submission. You will receive a free copy of the book of course. And 15% of the proceeds will be donated to Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and the creation of a National Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day.
The stories should be no longer than 1200 words. They could be about a narcissistic partner or spouse. Growing up with a narcissistic parent or family member or even a relationship with a narcissistic friend, boss or co-worker.
If you are interested in submitting your story, please email it to: iamfreenarcabuse@gmail.com
More details will be emailed to you once we receive your submission and please feel free to ask any questions.
November 13, 2015 at 10:14 pm
Thank you. I am still in that cloud of “brain fog” so putting together a sentence is a struggle. I do want to share 20+ years of experience with others. I need to find the words to describe the absurdity of the narcissist and his flying monkeys. I have been stuck for over 5 years in the fog, I can’t seem to get out.
October 4, 2015 at 7:47 pm
Narcissistic abuse is the most horrible brainwashing experience in any persons life. I am glad that you have survived and I hope that in time you will find a new you that you are happy to become. We ca never be what we were but we can thrive, flourish and pi$$ those f**kers off completely. (Sorry, no nicer words for them.)
October 28, 2015 at 7:19 pm
Thank you Heather, and no apology necessary. Unfortunately you are right, there are no nice words to describe a narcissist.
November 6, 2015 at 4:04 am
I can see you are creating meaning out of your loss. More power to you! Thank you for your support.
Best Regards,
Roberta
November 16, 2015 at 12:45 am
Thank you Roberta. I’m struggling to get through each day, and I’ve been trying to heal for years. Not much progress, I’m stuck.
November 15, 2015 at 6:37 pm
I’ve described my X as pathologically passive aggressive, but am slowing coming to realize that he was likely a covert narc. I look forward to reading your insights and wish you healing.
November 16, 2015 at 12:43 am
Learn all you can about the covert Narcissist, they are the most dangerous of the species. I’m still learning and he can still find ways to make me suffer. They like to watch their victim react to their cruelty and they enjoy watching them suffer.
January 9, 2016 at 8:57 pm
I’m sorry to read about your suffering. Thanks for following A Word, Please.
January 22, 2016 at 10:37 am
Just found your blog, thanks for sharing. I have avery similar story to tell. At the moment I am trying to get a clear mind and decide about my next steps.
January 28, 2016 at 10:31 pm
Hello woman in a fog! Got the notification today that you are following my blog and I came here to your blog. I read just a few of your responses here on your about me page and see a theme….you feeling stuck. My dear I suspect you are suffering from PTSD as well as 20 years of stuffed emotions. Contact me on my blog and let’s perhaps exchange offline if you’d like. I DO know you can get unstuck, live again, feel again, release the rage, shame, fear, etc.! Here’s a hug… Janet, Postcards to a Narcissist
January 29, 2016 at 3:26 am
Yes, Complex PTSD. I have been unable to find a therapist who understands. I have given up on getting better. I would like to know how, thank you.
January 29, 2016 at 7:21 pm
http://www.narcissismsurvivor.com/resources.html
That page had an online therapist listed but the direct link goes to a site that is being redesigned and so the therapist posted a direct link to his new site: http://www.drsansbury.com/index.html
He does online therapy…help IS out there but you’re right, a lot of therapists don’t understand narcs and the damage they do.
Don’t give up because nothing gets better when we stay in bed depressed…been there, done that and guess what? Giving up trying made my life WORSE.
January 29, 2016 at 7:32 pm
Thank you.
March 26, 2016 at 5:06 am
I too have CPTSD… there is help. Contact me if you like to discuss. There is hope!
February 3, 2016 at 9:59 pm
Putting a label on the issue is a great first step out of the fog. Identifying the perpetrators is the beginning to freedom. Refusing to be a victim is the next step. You can’t be hurt when you know you can never expect anything better. Dis-appointment is showing up for happy, reasonable, maybe even tolerable and it’s same old same old. Know it will never be otherwise and you won’t be so crushed.
I have prayed God would make me whole as He defines “whole” for many years now and He put me on a healing journey that brought my husband and me to The Vineyard Church in Anaheim. God want to make us whole. Jesus says I have come that you might have life and life abundantly. In the Book of Jeremiah God says “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for your welfare and not calamity. To give you a future and hope. And you will call upon Me and I will listen to you and you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”
February 3, 2016 at 10:20 pm
Thanks for following….keep being strong!
February 4, 2016 at 12:54 am
You are so strong. Thank you for being so honest and open.
February 4, 2016 at 1:43 am
Thank you, but I’m actually terrified every single day, that’s what I feel, terror mixed with extreme grief. I’m not so sure that I am brave because I don’t have a choice but to live a life that isn’t mine, it belongs to a woman who didn’t have a clue for years that she was married to a serial adulterer. My real life exploded and I’m stuck with someone else’s life. I walk around every day thinking where did my real life go?
I just need to put into words the nightmare that I relive in my head every day. I can’t make the thoughts go away so I write them down in an effort to make sense of what happened, even though I know that it’s not possible to make sense of so much deceit and so many betrayals.
March 28, 2016 at 6:49 pm
Interesting blog – thanks for the visit and the follow 🙂
May 26, 2016 at 12:54 am
Thanks for visiting and following my blog. I trust with the passing of time that you will be made completely whole again. Blessings! 🙂
May 26, 2016 at 4:34 pm
I’m so sorry for your abuse. Narcissists are insidious evil in the lives of people who love them.
May 26, 2016 at 9:39 pm
Yes, evil is the appropriate word. Thank you.
June 1, 2016 at 11:05 pm
Love your blog! Your writing is really powerful. Will follow.
June 3, 2016 at 5:05 pm
Read your work, thank you for sharing. Followed you back.
November 9, 2017 at 7:18 pm
So happy to have found your blog. My abuser became physically abusive. It happened just once 11 months ago. It was the first and last for me. However, in addition to the PTSD that I now face, he damaged my vestibular system so I can’t even function as a normal adult. I have 5 doc appointments per week, plus tons of homework. I don’t want to think about him but it’s hard not to. He’s always in my head.
January 8, 2018 at 12:36 pm
Your story is so similar to mine. I was a dead woman walking for over 20 years till he left me along with his family because I spoke the truth. I have the kids with me now as he has walked away. I’m here for you xo